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The Miami Marlins are eager to trade MVP Giancarlo Stanton. There’s only one problem: Stanton has a non-trading clause and will not accept any deal unless he is satisfied with the new club.

It was not unprecedented for players to give up their ban on trade, but it did add an interesting crease to the deal. If a team is a marginal competitor, they have to find a way to persuade Stanton to dedicate the rest of his life to them.

Some teams have taken this approach. Players from the St. Louis Cardinals and the San Francisco Giants lent a helping hand to Stanton on social media,

These may not matter, because there are rumors that Stanton hopes Los Angeles dodgers to join the conversation. And if Stanton is willing to wait, you probably know one or two mysterious teams can find a way to play for the thugs.

With so many uncertainties, we ask our big league draftsman to assume the role of hopefully getting Stanton’s team. They will have to do their utmost to convince him to accept the agreement and join in.

We are not sure what Stanton needs to hear to accept the deal, but after Dee Gordon traded on Tuesday, we know Marlins will soon cut their wages.

Giancarlo, with Marlins After eight seasons, you should be part of the best baseball organization. No doubt, the St. Louis Cardinals. We have been good in this area and are model organizations that other teams want them to be. Not only that, our superstar is also our favorite fan. Have you ever heard of our fans? Some people say they are the best in baseball. we agree.

Okay, so you’re worried about us competing at the Chicago Cubs and the Milwaukee Brewing Company in Central. This is fair. But consider our recent history. Whenever we are counted, we rebound. We develop weak middle infielders to become MVP candidates. We always seem to have a very good farm system. And we are not like the current team, with cash to spend on free agents.

Put down the worst organization in the game and come to the best baseball team. This is what you deserve.

Giancarlo, the most important thing you need to know is that we have something called “magic of evenness.” We can not explain why or how it works. But since 2010, we have won three world titles for three consecutive years, at least two of which we are by no means the best or the most talented. This is just one of the things that happened to us, and we want it to happen to you.

Imagine a home run at AT & T Park. We will pay special attention to how many people are in the bay. We give it a special name and commission a silly animated graphic, and if you like bobbleheads, we’ll give up your home run bay into the bay. We promise that it will even look like you!

And even though we did poorly in 2017, our team is not terrible. At first we had a Brandon band and he somehow looked like a baby giraffe. Hunter pence outfield, he only looks like a crazy caveman. He is actually a (maybe) sensible guy who enjoys Cheap Halloween Costumes like you! And Buster Posey is catching a catcher. He is not just awesome. He is an adult man who calls himself “Buster.” If you come here, you can pick a new nickname for him. In fact, you can choose a new nickname for everyone in the team! anything you want! (Really, we’ll give you whatever you want.) So, Giancarlo, approving the deal, officially became a giant and part of our inexplicable magic.


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